A Fresh Start
As we stare down the barrel of 2021, I find myself wanting to be intentional with my goals for the coming year. Make every minute count. Do all the little things that lead to that big goal. Yet, for the first time in a long time – I don’t know how to pinpoint what I want that big goal to be. My priorities and expectations have shifted so much in the last year. Like all of us, my emotions have been on a rollercoaster ride for over 9 months, leaving me hesitant to commit to what lies ahead in fear the course will change before I get there. That lack of direction leaves me questioning what I am shooting for, how I view myself now and who I am looking to become. And why that is so different from the Erika I was a year ago. The unexpected journey of self-discovery in 2020 has left its mark on me. It has led me in a direction of acknowledging who I really am as an individual and what I am capable of doing for others.
Recalling the challenges of the past year is unavoidable when setting intentions for 2021. How can they not be? The obstacles we have faced and continue to face have encompassed every aspect of the life we had become accustom to. Physically, mentally, socially & financially, we have overcome too much for it not affect the trajectory of our lives. Regardless of who you are and where you stand in the ongoing battle of… well everything… you have faced the unfathomable this past year. Questions once considered hypothetical, have suddenly become a common thread in casual conversations. Faith; can it uphold without the ritual of service and the reliability of community? Family; how to make the extra time together not only manageable but enjoyable? Friendships; can we sustain friendships without physical proximity to each other? Career; finding the balance between getting the job done and acting as teacher and psychologist to our children. Finances; how will we pay our mortgage, rent, bills, expenses with job loss and pay cuts? Political beliefs; I will just leave that one there.
Man, it’s been a lot to deal with all at once. However, through the abundance of this year’s adversity, the potential for personal growth is exponentially greater. I want to maximize that potential and use all the strides taken in 2020 to make me a better person in 2021. I hope to someday look back at the last year as something other than the year that beat us down and tore us apart.
Truth be told, there have been times when this desire was in danger of being defeated by the events of the year. Yet another threat to my well-being due to a news story or post I find myself devouring on social media. The negativity and sense of loss I read weighted heavy in the words of the people I know and love. It would be easy to wave the white flag, to succumb to the darkness ahead and leave all we have already fought through behind. However, we have come too far for that. Overcome too much. To lose it all now is not an option. Deep down I know we will get through whatever we have to – now and in the future. Why? Because there is no other option but to get through it. How we do so is totally up to us as individuals – that is the one and only thing that is always in our control.
In the last 9+ months, what has successfully helped us overcome the challenges we have faced? What has provided us with fulfillment and the peace needed to push on with joy in the face of adversity? When the world seemed to be held together by threads and our mental health challenged in ways it has never been before, what kept us intentional and focused? The way I see it, if those things were able to withstand a season of hardship, then they are what we need to hold close moving forward.
For me, this blog is a positive outcome of 2020 and something I look forward to continuing into the new year. Since I launched my blog in April, each of the 9 months of posts have marked the various stages of the pandemic. It has served as a chronicle of emotions and survival techniques that will come to define this time in my life – our lives. My posts have served as vehicles of self-discovery, revealing strengths that I once deemed as weaknesses. Always the supportive, kind and giving one, I took the back seat among my peers for as long as I can remember. I remained still, patiently waiting for someone to show me the way or give me approval for the direction I wanted to go in. Through my writing and a lot of self-reflection, I acknowledge my own personality traits in a different light and have found that I am not alone. I want to use this knowledge and strength to encourage others to find their own way.
Let me give you a little scenario and see where you would place yourself. I know who I can relate to now and who I want to continue to be in the future. However, who I was and who I thought I was meant to be would be someone completely different at a different time in my life.
It is a beautiful summer afternoon and 5 friends have spent the day on the Atlantic Ocean fishing, sunbathing and reminiscing over the days of their youth. Suddenly, the boat begins to take on water. The captain quickly sends out a distress call to the Coast Guard. However, the boat sinks faster than they expect and all 5 friends end up in the water. When faced with the decision of how to handle their situation, each friend reacts differently. One friend decides not to wait for the Coast Guard and takes action, declaring he is going to swim to shore whether the others wanted to or not. Another friend begins to panic and flails his body in distress. Another patiently treads water, fully confident in the Coast Guard’s ability to get to them in time. The 4th friend begins accusing each member of their party for their missteps he or she took that could have prevented the event from happening in the first place. The 5th friend takes a deep breath and looks around. She sees a sole cushion floating in the distance. She grabs hold and encourages her friends to join her. She doesn’t panic, get angry, react or rely on others to come through for her. She is self-efficient, level headed and leads the others to pull through the stressful situation by utilizing the tool that is available and the support of each other.
Okay, I think we all know who we want to be in this scenario. But are we really that person? Have we been that person in the past? Do we look at a problem we are facing with a level head and a thoughtful approach? Do we blame others for our mishap? Do we panic? Do we take action without thinking logically whether it will aide in the solution or invite a worse outcome? Do we wait for someone else to come save the day? Do we find the support we need for ourselves and offer it to others as well?
I want to be her. I want to be the one who overcomes challenges mindfully, with respect for those around me. Up until a year ago, I was the one waiting for someone else to pull me to safety. The leap I took in 2020 to launch erikalyn.com was the equivalent of me taking my own fate in my hands and offering it to others for support.
My website/blog started as a personal milestone – something I wanted to do for myself. I wasn’t sure why, I just felt compelled to do it. “if nothing else, it will be a place to showcase the work I do for my clients as a marketing professional.”
As the months passed, the blog morphed into an outlet to release my emotions. A place to express and sort the chaos going on around me. For me, writing has been therapy for my mind and soul through a year full of disruption, inconvenience and concern. It even served as a way to attract admiration for the skill of writing I have harbored for a long time – one that was nearly forgotten. The encouraging words from my readers served as fuel for me to continue. All of these discoveries culminated into a new found confidence and drive towards a future of possibilities that had not been previously considered.
The surprising outcome (and honestly, most rewarding) has been the reaction to my writing from my own extended circle of friends. The people who have reached out to let me know how one of my articles has helped them. The friends who have shared one of my articles with someone they loved, in the hopes to help them with my words. Whether my writing clarified the feelings they couldn’t articulate or made a reader realize they are not alone in their distress; the knowledge of providing some assistance to the process is something I treasure and somehow never expected to come out of my little blog. To be called brave by an acquaintance for exposing my own struggles with depression and anxiety. To know someone’s sister in Wyoming is reading my blog in the hope to help her son who is struggling with teenage insecurities. Being able to provide others with the knowledge that they are not alone in their thoughts and feelings through this blog and the gratitude they have expressed to me is so fulfilling -especially in the season of solitude we have been fighting through.
If 2020 has taught me anything, it has been the importance of living a life of joy, even (perhaps especially) when facing unexpected detours and roadblocks. In our society, maintaining something in our life that simply makes us happy seems frivolous and somehow insignificant compared to the work we put in to bring money into our home. And of course, financial stability is important. However, living a fulfilled life of intentional contentment and gratification provides footing when everything else seems to be falling apart.
Aside from launching my blog, 2020 has reminded me to cherish family time. To not take for granted the events and holidays we are accustom to sharing. It has taught me to be flexible and open to pivoting in order to thrive in any situation. It has taught me empathy to other small businesses and helped me recognize the work they put in to maintain their dreams of entrepreneurship. It has taught me persistence to follow my own dreams. Heck, it taught me to focus more acutely on those dreams and gave me the confidence to pursue them. 2020 taught me to value those friends who I hold dearly, to find alternatives to our cocktail hour get togethers in order to remain close. Most of all, this year revealed a level of resilience I never realized I obtained. These are elements worthy of taking into the new year and years to come and they came from a year we all have wished would go away.
The actions I took over the last 9 months – writing, exercising, meditating, journaling – have all been calculated steps to maintain a balance among the unsettling around me. I truly believe this year has given us an opportunity to reset and recharge. Clear all of the clutter out of our lives. Upon your own reflection, what did not make it on your own ‘good’ list of 2020. It is time to lose them completely and move on. 2021 feels like the starting point of some very big decisions. How do we want to lead our lives going forward? What will you bring back into your life? What will remain forgotten and deemed unimportant? Which ‘friend’ will you be among the sea of survivors?
So back to my own intentions for the coming year. I hope to continue to bring inspiration, enlightenment and support to those who read my blog. During my first few months of the blog launch, I made a goal of reaching a different person with each article. So far, I have held true to this goal. I will continue to produce content with the intent of being real and making the uncomfortable topics a little more normalized. If I remain true to this mission, I know I will be able to affect others. Having an influence of positivity, acceptance and joy is certainly a goal I want to continue reaching for with intent in 2021. This is my why, my 2021 intention and what I am focusing on in 2021.
