Reaching for Hope
As I begin this post, I know what the message is in my heart but I don’t exactly know how to express myself through words yet. All I know is life feels so heavy right now and I am yearning for the day when it becomes lighter once again. My entire body feels the weight of the world bearing down and I am sure I am not the only one. I can’t be the only one with this heaviness I carry around throughout the day. Don’t tell me I am the only one desperately seeking ways to shed that weight; only to acquire more as the days have turned into weeks and months and nearly a year.
Today I feel it more than others. All of it. I recognize the effort I am putting in as I try to grasp onto something (anything) to find my balance. Hoping for a life preserver of a resolution to appear out of thin air for me to wrap my arms around, preventing me from submission to the downwards pull of depths I have been before. I feel pressure tighten around the crown of my head, carry down to the base of my neck and across the stretch of my shoulders. A heaviness compresses my chest and squeezes snuggly around the mass of my heart; leaving me breathless as it travels through my hips and down the length of my legs, ladening my feet onto the earth. I trudge through the day as if the ground is covered with an ankle-deep layer of dense mud. Each step taking more energy than the last.
Dramatic. Right? This is the life we are living. The full-length, made-for-the-big-screen, placed high on the dramatic film category and oh-so-surreal life of 2020. Every situation we have faced in the past 8+ months is faced with adversity, riddled with conflicting opinions and drenched in sorrow. Everyone has an opinion and no one can seem to find a common ground. The “us against you” mentality saddens me and leaves me feeling lost, drifting between those who found their footing long ago. As they stand strong against their opposition, I feel weak and feeble not being able to find a place to stand among the others. Where is my conviction? Why does it come naturally to so many but feels like a job I have to work at?
I feed off others’ emotions. I base my opinions off my own emotions. To me, this has always been perceived as a negative quality I hold. A weakness. Especially concerning controversial, political, or situational conflicts. However, recently I have learned to embrace this trait within myself. The ability to see the other side of an issue is a gift that leaves me open to empathize on a humanity level missing in so many of today’s issues and within many of the world’s leaders. This innate ability gives me the opportunity to grow, strengthens and define my own convictions.
It is disheartening to observe someone who is so rooted in their own cause that they are blinded to the motivation behind their opposition’s. Finding out why a person stands on the other side of the fence and the path that led them there is just as important as your own journey to the beliefs behind your mission. Perhaps if we looked at an opponent with curiosity towards the reasoning behind their stance as opposed to the individual as “ignorant” or “irrational”, lessons could be learned. Lessons that will help us flourish from wherever we decide to plant ourselves. The point isn’t to sway each other one way or the other. The point is to educate each other with empathy to coincide with our own convictions.
Look at it as nourishment for your own cause from the other side. The rain water to your sunshine. Perhaps that will lead to branches growing across the fence and vice versa. Those are the tools we need to create the bridge to resolutions. But these islands that I see in today’s society; the ones with violent seas of animosity, criticism and hatred. Those will never come together. And so, I remain adrift among the islands. Stuck in the mud. The fence between the trees. Whatever analogy you want to grab onto. That is me.
Now, I don’t look at reaching across battle lines as an epiphany of an idea. Lately, it just feels like it was something we may have been able to achieve in the past but has somehow become forgotten along the way. When did we stop seeing another’s point of view? When did we stop listening? And I mean really listening. Not just giving someone their turn to speak, in order for us to speak again. Did you actually listen to what they were saying or were you just thinking of your next retort?
When topics are discussed as level headed adults, they are more likely to be received with an open mind. It is just common sense. How often have you been in a conversation and realized the other person wasn’t listening but thinking of their next point? How many times have you been that person? I can say with all honesty, I have been on both sides of that conversation and it never leads to a productive resolution. Yet lately, it seems like all discussions are coming at you, with no intention of being discussed with you and are only inclusive to those who agree with the person speaking. Talking with someone, rather at someone enables enlightenment and has the potential of finding a common ground. Weren’t we taught that in elementary school? Isn’t that the only way we can come together? Meeting somewhere in the middle of empathy and agreeing to disagree? I just don’t understand where this ideal got lost in translation.
Perhaps I am naïve. Maybe I am uneducated to the facts. Some could say I am “wishy-washy”. I say, I am tired. I am tired and sad of the state of the world. Disgraced by the lack of humanity displayed by others. It feels like noise. Annoying static noise that is happening as an undercurrent of the day. Even when we don’t see it. Even when the words of hatred aren’t being spewed across our social media feeds; we still feel it coming through as passive aggressive posts and comments. And it is weighing me down. Heck it is weighing all of us down whether we know it or not.
Back to that life preserver. What can we do to bring ourselves out of the mud and above the tide? The same thing we always do, I suppose. Look for the light at the end of the tunnel. Man, it is only a pinhole of light right now but it is there. It has to be. The first thing I am doing as I make my way out, is to stay the heck out of it. I am avoiding the comments and long-winded rants over social media. Focusing on the people who are trying to make the world brighter. Ones who are volunteering their energy to help others – whether it be businesses who have been affected during the pandemic or parents who face the upcoming holiday season in financial stress. I look for the people out there who want to make others happy with a quick compliment or a funny meme. I try to be that person for others. When I know I have said or done something that has added a little light to another’s day it alleviates some of that negative weight I am carrying.
In the beginning of this article I mentioned a message I was carrying. This message can only come from one place… the heart. It is not just a make up of how we feel but how we make others around us feel. You don’t have to have a fancy medical degree to know that making others feel good, helps you feel better. Every time I get a response about one of my blog articles touching someone who read it, I float on air for the rest of the day. It isn’t just a matter of stroking my ego as a writer but knowing I had a positive influence on another human being is amazing. It is like a drug I can’t get enough of and one that I wish I could be a dealer of. Seriously, if only I could sell others on the knowledge of how good they would feel just by offering others a sincere, kind word or share a funny joke (even not so funny jokes work).
Lastly, I need to stop looking to the leaders and influencers of this country for the resolve. Why do we need them to boost us up and bring us together? If we all have that light within us, we don’t need them to give us the okay to let it shine. We can do that. We can agree to disagree. We can be disappointed in the outcome of the coming election (no matter which way it goes) but it doesn’t mean we have to carry that darkness with us. We can be the ones who are civil and we can reach across to the other side. We just need to listen to each other, respect our differences and pick each other up.
Peace my friends. Try to keep it light. Regardless of how the world stands, we have the light within us to make it brighter than it is right now. Perhaps illuminating our world more brilliantly than it ever was. It all starts with the light inside us. The hope in our ability is the life preserver I am clinging to.
I already feel a little lighter. How about you?