Still Growing

Personal growth happens naturally to each of us throughout life and with very little effort. From the time we are born, through adolescence and into adulthood, the objective is to… well… to grow. Physically and mentally. We go through schooling to assist in the process, we enter college to expand our knowledge further and we enter the workforce hoping to become an expert in the industry of our choice. Of course, this is a generalization of the process, but you get the idea. Without putting much effort into it, we grow and mature through life circumstances into who we are meant to be as a contributor to society. That “real job” we enter either straight out of high school or after years and years of college is never the final goal. There is still work to be done on ourselves and our skills to become better in our trade.

With this logical direction of life’s path – why is the personal growth industry booming right now? What are we seeking outside the walls of our workplace and beyond the natural progression of life that is found in this thriving industry?  What is it about these books, podcasts, conferences and merchandise driving us to pay for this information? Is it the human desire to always want more? Or is it a yearning to absorb as much knowledge as we can that drives tens of thousands to these conferences? Could it be the speakers themselves? What is it about the encouragement from these persuasive strangers that give us the confidence to go after our deepest dreams and desires? And why is it different than the support from the people who love us the most?

There are so many highly successful, influential leaders in this space and with social media at our fingertips, we can tap into their fountain of knowledge at any time. We don’t even have to look hard for their words of inspirational wisdom. All day, and with every scroll through our newsfeeds, we can witness the encouragement and wisdom from memes being shared from one person to another – inspiring us to breathe, have faith and look at our own life situations in a different light. These memes are more abundant than ever during times of crisis, such as the one we are experiencing now during the COVID-19 pandemic. And they leave you wanting more of that positive energy.

This Saturday was one of the first warm days of spring here in the northeast. Temperatures soared to 70 degrees and the masses were spending time in their gardens, taking walks, playing in their yards and soaking up the Vitamin D as much as they could. Instead, I chose to spend 8 hours glued to my office chair as I took part in my first (virtual) personal growth conference (RiseXLive by the Hollis Company).  Conferences, such as RISE, attract an estimated 40 million Americans each year to hotel ballrooms and even large arenas across the country. They provide tools and inspiration for people in search of a better version of themselves, empowering and encouraging attendees to expand their horizons through self-discovery and inspiring stories. There are so many conferences out there that fit this bill, finding one that speaks to you can be somewhat overwhelming.  Personally, attending a RISE conference has been a bucket list item of mine for a while now. However, attending a conference of any type can be very expensive and therefore was put in the “someday” category of this ever-growing bucket of to dos. The shutdown of the world due to COVID drove the Hollis Company to provide their first virtual conference and gave me the opportunity to participate, bumping this long-term goal to short-term status. Albeit, not the same as attending among tens of thousands of fired up women who are ready to take on the world, I was excited for the chance to attend.  Honestly, when I think of the blessings that came out of this horrible time, this opportunity will always be on the top of my list!

And man, this first conference experience did not disappoint. Ed Mylett, Britt (Beans) Barron, Donald Miller, Dave Hollis, Eric Thomas, John Maxwell, Jenn Hatmaker, and Rachel Hollis all provided dialogue that kept me fixated to my monitor. I felt like a sponge soaking in their energy, experience, determination and drive. With each lesson, I imagined how I would make these points work in our own business and my life. The topic of the day was courage. Each of the 8 speakers brought their own take on how to get through challenging times including the current pandemic. They also touched on other obstacles they faced as business leaders and how they are using the tools from those experiences and applying them today.  Compassion, empathy, consistency, resilience, hope, confidence, and drive are all points taken from these dynamic leaders. I left our office feeling like I could take on the world.

What gave me the desire to sit in our office for an entire Saturday and listen to speakers talk about courage?

** Does anyone else’s inner voice say the word “courage” with a Wizard of Oz Cowardly Lion growl? No, it’s just me… anyway…**

There has always been a longing desire in my heart telling me I was meant to do more. What that “more” is has yet to take a definitive form. However, venturing down the path of personal growth feels like the right direction while I figure out what my “more” is. After all, these are my people! They think the way I have always thought. They look at any situation and think “how can I make this better?”  And this isn’t just flipping the narrative from a negative into positive. It is also when things are going well, they start pointing their attention to how they can share this good with those around them. How they can serve their community by sharing their perspective and giving others encouragement they need?  I want to be that person. I am that person.  It is me!

The me who cares so much for the people around me that it physically hurts. The me who wants nothing but the best for others and feels their joy and pain as if it were my own. The me who thrives on hearing an unexpected dream bubble out of an ordinary conversation. The me who wants to help bring that dream alive. The me who always sees the other side of an argument – even if it means I end up losing most of my “arguments” because of it.  The me who is impossibly positive even in the darkest times.

For my entire life, I have felt ashamed, weak and insecure for these traits that made me… well me. These characters of my personality have been the cause of being called insincere and wishy-washy. I am one of those people who others look at and say “she can’t always be that happy” or “I want whatever she is taking”. In all honesty, being negative just isn’t in my DNA.  And I finally have the courage to say I am proud of that. Proud of how I am handling my time and attitude during the quarantine. And finally, I am relieved to be comfortable in knowing this is me.

[Que: This is Me by Keala Settle, the Greatest Showman Soundtrack].

And how do I feel about this quarantine? Well it sucks! There is no sugar coating that one. Some days are manageable. Some days I curl into the corner of the couch and watch Disney Fairytale Weddings (happy endings people! That is how I manage. No judging.). One thing that often pulls me out of the dark moments are thoughts of hope.  For instance, what if we all become better because of the times we are walking (or crawling) through right now? What if, these poor kids who have lost so much of their final year of high school or college are more resilient, stronger adults? Adults who are able to fight through life’s inevitable disappointments instead crumbling.  What if they are better contributors to society because of this God-awful year? For years we have looked at this generation with despair. The generation of instant gratification just got handed a big plate of humble pie. Something they don’t deserve, but what if, just what if… this heart-breaking loss serves them in big ways down the road? I personally think the class of 2020 is going to be an incredible group of adults that make real changes in the world we live in. Everything they have lost and all the emotions they have had to work through will be the contributing factors to their rise to success.  This thought process is a personal growth mindset at its finest. Taking anything life throws at you and making it into something exceptional. Who doesn’t want to think like this?

After walking away from the conference Saturday, I felt inspired and hopeful. Hopeful. Something that is hard to grasp on to as I listen to the news Rich has on in the background. It is very hard to find hope these days. But man, was it a good feeling to have. Hope empowers you to take on the next day, the next challenge and beyond. Having hope because this is going to someday be in our past. Clinging to this hope is having faith that you can handle it. You will get through it. You will be stronger when it is all over. You just have to have hope.

It’s okay to be okay right now. It’s understandable if you are not okay. Heck, it is even okay to be amazing when and if that feeling comes. I know I won’t forget how hard this time at home has been but I can’t see how dwelling and sharing every hardship I have on social media is going to help me or anyone around me work through it.  I am very conscious of how I want to look back at this time. While I know I will always remember how I couldn’t see my mother, hug my sisters, socialize with my friends and struggled with finding time to work while having my kids home. I am looking forward to the glimpses of joy we had too. I want to look back and know we had our moments of making the best out of the situation and during those instants we were okay. And I am confident that when I am FINALLY able look back on the good and bad of the 2020 pandemic as a period in our past, we will be better than okay.

Personal Growth conferences aren’t for everyone. But I encourage you during this time of fear, frustration and tears – find your thing that brings you hope and hold onto it with all you might. That feeling of hope – it feels good. It feels so damn good.